Running in Heels

Check out the YouTube V-log segment that accompanies this blog at:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5ogvzh_6Kc&feature=plcp

Are you an independent woman who juggles a career, a social life, a family, and more?  Let’s look at how a woman’s role in society has changed and how men are adapting to it, as well as what this means for relationships.  Whether you own your own business, are the CEO of a company, or report to the corporate setting every day, women make up a huge portion of the work force, and we bring our game faces to the job.  Although we might be juggling personal obligations, family life, relationship issues, and social pressures, we still walk in every day and sweep the rest of our lives aside to be dedicated and focused to our work.  Fifty years ago, a woman’s role was at home with her family; her list of obligations existed of house chores, raising the children, and being a great wife; a woman’s shoes were rarely scuffed in those days. Nowadays we run our heels into the ground, running from appointments to meetings, then home to throw dinner together and carve out time for our significant others and families, in the mix of trying to pay bills, clean the house, do the laundry, and still have time for socializing and relaxation.  Solo or coupled, with or without children, working women have taken on the role of Superwoman in various respects; we might as well be flying around wearing capes instead of running in heels.

So with all of that said, how do we create balance in our relationships with men?  Are we bringing so much masculine energy from our independent working lives to the table that we are not enabling men to be men?  If you are like me, I look around and wonder where have all the good men gone, and what has happened to chivalry?  I always think of the image of the strong warrior going off to war to fight for his country and protect his family. Is that image just a fairytale? or have we just evolved so far past those traditional days, with shifting gender roles in society, that men have been forced to be more passive when it comes to relationships.  Even looking to our parents’ and grandparents’ generations, men still opened doors for women and acted like gentlemen in every way.  So the question I pose is, do we need to be more gentle as women in order to find the gentleman in our partner?  The irony is that the ‘gentle’man is actually a strong, assertive, and romantic man.  But what I mean by gentle woman is, do we need to show our men a softer side in order to enable them to show us their strong assertive characteristics, and how do we find that balance? 

I believe communication is everything in relationships.  It’s important that if you are independent and your career is important to you that you find a balance, and you express that to your partner in such a way that you can be mutually supportive of each other.  So that you can both bring home victories from work, celebrate successes, mourn the losses, and navigate through life together without one person dominating and the other following.  It’s all about balance, give and take, and sometimes remembering it’s okay to just be a woman and let the man be a man.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic and how it pertains to your relationships or dating experiences, as well as how you feel about your role in society as a woman.

Feel free to comment on this blog or drop a note to sara@realeyesthetruth.com.

Truthfully yours,

~ Sara M.

Got Confidence?

Check out the YouTube V-log segment that accompanies this blog at:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCuWzmTSKvo&feature=plcp

Self esteem is defined as “the value we place within ourselves.”  This value is based upon our opinions and beliefs, and interestingly enough, what we think of ourselves is eighty percent formed by the age of six years old.  Think back to when you were five or six years old and what factors were influencing you at that time; there were people in your life shaping your view of yourself, such as parents, siblings, teachers, peers and friends.  You were continually having experiences in those formative years that were shaping who you were and how you would ultimately come to esteem yourself.    As we’ve grown into our adulthood, we have been molded by this view of ourselves, as well as by all of the other outside opinions and pressures that society and our family, friends, mentors, and peers have placed on us.  Over the years, we have developed an image in our mind of who we are, who we want to be, and how we think we are viewed by others.  This image has become an identity.  It is the dialogue that we talk to ourselves with.  It is present in how we carry ourselves, how we portray ourselves to others, and how we interact in our personal and professional lives.  This can range from a very positive self-image to very poor self-esteem and low confidence.    Think about that for a moment…  How do you talk to yourself?  Are you constantly saying positive things to affirm your confidence and pride, or is there a negative dialogue that exists within your mind?  What makes you stand up taller or feel more pride from within?  When do you feel the most secure and confident?  And when do you feel the most insecure? 

I am going to share a piece of a philosophical quote that I found by an unknown author, and it says,  “…Those who choose acceptance as their predominant way of being, find it to be a pleasing and powerful creative choice, and that is a choice that consistently yields to desired results.”  This quote really resonates with me.  Essentially what it is saying is that if we accept ourselves and are happy and content from within, that will enable us to act in line with who we authentically are and ultimately lead to positive and favorable outcomes in our lives.  And the positive momentum that you create from within will surge outward and create a ripple effect in your life… all of the positive thoughts and energy will draw in, or attract, the same type of energy (Law of Attraction) and positive results.  On the flip side, if we are talking negatively to ourselves, or feeling badly about ourselves and acting from fear or guilt or low self-esteem, we can create the opposite type of effect, where find ourselves on a downward spiral.   Pay attention to this, and check in with yourself to see if you are at peace from within.  

It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to live.  There is such a thing as moral integrity and right or wrong, but the key to remember is that we are all human and we all make mistakes.   We must forgive ourselves, learn from our mistakes, grow, and evolve.  We must own our mistakes, so that they are integrated into our being as growth opportunities and not as negative experiences.  If we beat ourselves up over every mistake we make, we will destroy our confidence and self-esteem and identify ourselves only from our choices and even more dangerous, define ourselves from the shadow that lives within us.  Find the light within you, strip away the fear, rejection, guilt, judgments and blocks that have built up from choices you have made or negative experiences in your life, and just be you, authentic and beautiful YOU!  Learn to love yourself and create a wholeness from within that will radiate out to the world and create a very positive effect on your life.